Introduction of #6 who is #1

Part 1

Back when I first started this blog, and I was writing the “about” section, I mentioned that I am the mother of 6.  I have raised 5, but I am the mother of 6.  In May, the entire Hoefenway crowd, all 7 of us (that’s Hoefle and Hemenway combined) will travel to a quiet little resort in Mexico to see my oldest son Michael and his incredibly wonderful fiance Brie, begin their journey as husband and wife.  Colin will fly in from Chile, Hannah from Arizona and the rest of us from Burlington, Vermont.

We will spend 4 magical days with Michael and Brie and their families and closest friends.  I will meet everyone who is important to Michael and Brie in this very short, highly charged 4 day extravaganza.

Everyone who is close to me knows all about Michael and my decision to give him up for adoption when I was 19.  I had not business raising a child at 19.  The good news is, I knew it.   My family…..my amazing family, was – well…amazing.  That’s a story for a different post.  This post is about introducing Michael.

Michael contacted me a little over a year ago.  Out of the blue.  He said he had an “epiphany”. Yeah, I know.  He had me at “epiphany”.  What 32 year old even uses that word let alone uses my favorite word in a  sentence about why he decided to find me after all these years?  This epiphany went something like this:

“I thought to myself, Michael, what if all these years, she has been worrying about you?  Worrying about your life.  Worrying about the parents who raised you.  Doesn’t she deserve to at least know that you are okay?  That you have great parents.  That you were loved and taken care of and that you are a successful, happy man.  Don’t you at least owe her that?”

And so the journey began.  We talked on the phone and within weeks it was as easy to talk to Michael as it was to any of my other children.  We met in Arizona and spent 2 days together.  By the end of the first day, we were bored.  Bored because there was no drama.  Just a quiet, intense, heartfelt conversation about our lives.  We asked each other questions and we answered every one of them.  We scratched the surface and then dove deep.  What we found was a connection to each other that you just can’t explain to anyone not involved in that connection.  It was there.  It had always been there.  Just waiting.

We returned to our homes.  We planned a trip to Las Vegas where he would meet his brothers and sisters and they would meet him.  He said he missed not seeing his “eyes or his nose” on another person.  He saw his eyes, his nose, when  he met us in the lobby.  He saw his face, his mannerisms, his laugh, his sense of humor in  his siblings and in me.  It was all there.  Waiting for him.  Welcoming him home.  To another family.  To his family.  The trip together was magical.  All the kids clicked.  It was easy for everyone to be together.  We were all in awe of our time and the memories we made in just 2 short days.

A few months later we took at trip to SF and he showed us his town.  His life.  His loves.  His passions.  His work.  We were captivated.  We were impressed.  We wined and dined and giggled and shared more stores and made new stories.  The connection deepened.  The love expanded.

Last summer, he and Brie came to visit us in Vermont.  Iain and I met them in Boston where we spent 2 glorious days.  We ate and drank and sailed and went to a Red Sox game.  We cooked and walked and talked and then drove to Middlebury.  The kids were excited to have Michael on their turf.  We played in the pool, jumped on the tramp, played charades and foosball, took walks and cooked.  We sat by the fire in the evening and our connection to each other grew deeper.

When it was time for Michael and Brie to head back to Boston to board their flight home, a funny thing happened.  On their way to Rutland to pick up their rental car, all the kids in tow, Michael suddenly blurted out that he had left his passport at the house.  The kids turned around, drove back to the house and Michael asked everyone to gather on the back deck, around the fire pit.  We couldn’t imagine what he had in store for us.  Hadn’t we already said our tearful goodbyes?  What could he be thinking?

Without warning, Michael began to talk about the importance of family, of his love for all of us and of his love for Brie. Quietly, without even a pause, Michael proposed to Brie – in front of his new family – he decided to share one of the biggest decisions of his life – with us.  The moment was still and then Brie, as only Brie can – screamed

“Shut Up!  Shut Up!  Michael Shut Up!”

I think it was shock as I have never heard her say anything like that in all the time I have spent with her.  What a moment.  What a scene.  The cheering, the crying, the hugs and the toasts.

When we received the invitation to this destination wedding there was a moment of pause for Iain and me.  We started with the rational thinking – the price for 7 of us, the college tuition piling up,…….and then we looked at each other and together we said – this is our son – this is his wedding – we are his family.

Iain, Vicki, Brie, Michael

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