Earthquakes, Apologies and Gratitude

Chapter One – Earthquakes!

Ah life!  Isn’t it just a mystery.

So, yesterday, while I was in Boston, I turned on the TV at 6:30 am est. to find that Chile had experience an 8.9 earthquake.

Gulp!  Colin, my 18 year old child is in Chile.  He is in Chile with his buddy who is visiting from our town.  Gulp!

I was up.  I was alert.

• When did I talk to him last?
• Where did he say he was going?
• Is he completely off the grid or is there a chance I could get him on skype?
• Where was the epicenter?

A thousand questions raced through my head and answers to most just as quickly.  I settled down.  I knew it would be a long wait.  Iain and I talked, reassured each other, reminded each other of  Colin’s strengths, what we know about him and his ability to navigate his life.  We talked about earthquakes and cancer.  You can’t do anything about either.  There is a place in the world for life and death.  And no amount of gnashing of teeth, railing against injustice or being overtaken by grief or worry will do you any good.

It is, what it is.  It may sound callous, but I assure you that when you live your life from this perspective, your level of commitment TO LOVE – as in the verb -  is deep.  We don’t pay the “To Love” lip service.  We practice it.  So that when, not if, but when something happens, because it will, we will have no regrets.  This is our personal mission statement.  To Love.

We went to our appointment and kept Colin on the periphery of our thoughts.  We had however,initiated yellow alert at our home.  Our 3 kids manned the phones, began facebooking friends and created a whirl wind of activity.  Colin is well loved by his siblings and he is loved by his town as it turns out.  We heard from people we didn’t even know.  Crazy stuff.

When we finally arrived home the tension was palpable.  The kids dove into our arms.  They needed their mom and dad.  They needed reassurance.   And at that moment, so did I.

I hugged them, kissed them, hugged them some more and  slowed things down.  I looked at each of them long and hard and reminded them of who Colin is and how he handles life as it comes.  I reminded them of who they are and how they handle life, as it comes.

They began filling us in on all that was happening and Iain and I got  caught up in the frenzy – and then the alarm bells went off in my head.  Not about Colin.  About the way I was dealing with this small crisis.  It was time for a quick redirect.  So I do what I always do.   I cook.

I decided on Risotto.  It requires thoughtful attendance.  It requires cutting and stirring, smelling and tasting.  It requires time.  It demands attention.  Perfect.   Slowly everyone moved to the kitchen and the cooking the bonding the settling down began.   We created a safe space to process our feelings, our concerns and our love of Colin.

The phone continued to ring, skype continued beeping, and emails continued to fly.  We found safety and connection in the kitchen.    The love we felt for Colin spilling into our meal.  Read “Like Water For Chocolate” if you haven’t already.  Amazing.

Chapter Two – Apologies

Eventually, I decided to try twitter.  I heard stories about how twitter could be helpful in a crisis – but truthfully, I thought it was crap. So I would like to publicly apologize to those who tweet.

For the life of me, I just didn’t get the twitter thing until yesterday.  I tried.  I really did, but it just didn’t make any sense to me.  First of all, I am fanatically private so chatting about anything that has to do with me is excruciatingly painful.  I also hold the belief that NO ONE could be the least bit interested in anything I have to say.

But twitter – holy crap.  I heard from people.  I- heard-from -people. Do you know what that is like?  First time that day I cried.  I cried because there were people I had never met, taking the time to send me links to the Chilean Red Cross and numbers to call and sending me prayers and feeding me info as it became available.

Chapter Three – Gratitude

People I don’t know – they care.  So to every person out there who has ever reached out in this kind of way to another human being – thank you.  You became my strength in that moment of doubt.

And oh the gratitude I felt when we finally talked with Colin.  The stifled sniffles from his siblings.  The chorus of cheers when we contacted all the concerned relatives and friends to reassure them that all was – is – well.  Gratitude that again, people we know and love held us in their arms.  Held our worry for us so that I could tend to the 3 kids in my house who could not find solace in the questions hanging in their heads until they heard their brothers voice.

Gratitude that I am part of a family that pulls together and allows each other to find comfort and share love and celebrate when the crisis has passed.

Clearly, our hearts go out to every family who is suffering both in Chile and in Haiti and around the world.  These families are never far from our thoughts.  Our kids travel.  At some point, they will be deeply effected by the events of the world – if they haven’t already.

Oh, and today, when I chatted with Colin who was kind enough to call is Mama for a quiet chat – he informed me that he would be heading south to Santiago and further south to volunteer in the hardest hit areas.  After all he told me - I am fine and I am strong and I have a responsibility.  Of course you do my darling.  You are a global citizen.  Chile has your heart and your heart has the Chilean people.

Thank you.  From all of us here in East Middlebury – thank you!

Colin & Iain in Chile

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