A simple snack holds a family value

The Perfect Snack

Wouldn’t it be great, I mean really wonderful, if you had been holed up in your office for hours – working away on the piles of paperwork that absolutely, no-guestion-about-it, had to get done today before 5:00 and  suddenly 2 little fairies appeared carrying this tray of goodies just for you?

And wouldn’t it be heaven if these 2 little fairies whispered that they knew you couldn’t be bothered, but they thought it was important for you to have a snack so you could keep working which would mean that at 7:00 that night you could come up, out of your cave and have dinner with your family.

And there was no judgment in their voices, no accusations, no should’s waiting to jump out of you.

And wouldn’t it be perfect if at that moment, you looked up from your computer screen, saw those 2 perfect fairy faces and realized that nothing else mattered in that moment, but these 2 generous, loving girls who took the time to make you, their mom,  this completely nutritional snack?

I so love hearing these kinds of stories and knowing, that these kids didn’t just arrive at 8 and 5 with the insight and wisdom to make their tired mommy a snack.  I know that these kids were raised in a family where a value was identified – being good to each other – and during the course of every day, whether mom and dad felt like modeling it or not, they did and after just a few short years, this is what they have to show for it.

Two little fairy girls who stop playing, recognize that mom is over the top busy, decide to provide a nutritional snack that ANY mom would be pleased to eat and because there was no judgment, provided the space for Jen to walk away from her computer, up the stairs to the table, enjoy the snack with her daughters and create a memory.

Today I challenge you, to take a personal inventory of how often you model the  values you want your children to demonstrate in their young lives.  I challenge you to BE the person you want your children to grow into.  I challenge you to put aside the judgment the accusations and the should’s you carry around in your brain that cause such discouragement and opt for a different, more encouraging state of mind.

Who knows, the next time you find yourself completely disconnected from your family, with work piled to the ceiling, two little imps might surprise YOU with a special little snack.

Living the Family Value

What I Learned

Here is what I learned over the Thanksgiving Holiday.

1. My mother-in-law Marge is a rock star.  She has been cooped up in rehab for 3 months and on Thursday she sat in a rented van and shared her life story with her family.  She never once mentioned, let alone complained about the pain in her hip, the boredom she faces each day or the simple pleasure of sleeping in her own house, in her own room, in her own bed.  Marge – I bow to you.
2. Holidays are difficult for me.  They just are.
3. I was hit by a wave of nostalgia that dropped me to my knees.

Sitting in the back of the van, listening to Marge I was suddenly aware that none of my children were with me.  That none of my children were listening to the recounting of a life story.  None of my children would have this memory and as the reality hit me,  I was instantly and violently thrown into a full-on nostalgia attack.  I do not know that I have ever felt this before in my life.  If I have, it couldn’t have been very intense because I don’t remember it.  At that moment

I wanted to cry.        I wanted to release.        I wanted to feel.

I wanted to feel in a way that makes your bones quiver.  But  I couldn’t.  It would have ruined a perfect day.

So I saved my nostalgia for when I returned home.  I ran downstairs and began rummaging through pictures.  I pawed through hundreds, but I was looking for two in particular.

Frances on her 100th Birthday

This is Frances on her 100th Birthday.

She is my great grandmother and I lived with her for many years.  In fact, she was a part of my first child-care facility in Seattle.  She would sit outside with the kids and they would run around her, touch her skin, sit on her lap and she would smile and talk with them and give them little pieces of licorice.

We would have dinner out once a week.   My kids learned about manners and listening and being patient by dining with a women in her 90′’s who saw no reason to rush anything. My kids would sit with her, read books to her, show her their projects, talk to her about frogs and turtles and life.

She played bridge at least 3 times a week and beat the pants off of women half her age.  She was sharp as a tack, funny, loving and had the most wonderful stories of her own adventures as a young woman.    She was as much a part of my daily life as my kids were.

I let myself settle into all the memories I have of Frances and my life as a young mother.  I flipped through hundreds of pictures and indulged in each and every feeling that emerged.    Someday, I will be 100 and my children will be talking about their memories of me and of their life.

I step back in time and grab hold of what’s important and bring it with me into today.  Frances is a reminder.

This is Ailsa - my grandmother.

She is holding Hannah in her arms.  Her smile says it all.

Ailsa has always been a part of my life.  We lived with her when I was a child, I lived with her as a young adult and she lived with me when she developed Alzheimer’s.

I can’t even describe how much I love this woman.  Anything good about me came from her.  Here is just one story in honor of her.

She is baking pies and she always makes extra crust, smoothered in butter, sugar and cinnamon.  We are arguing.  Yelling at each other about something.  I am a pre-teen and I am a brutal adolescent. Demanding, bitchy, mercurial, irresponsible, selfish, disrespectful.  But Ailsa loves me.  So we fight.  I am not allowed into her kitchen as my screaming might ruin the food (read Like Water For Chocolate for more info on food and emotions).  So we yell – well, actually, I yell, she holds her ground in a quiet, solid voice – from across the island.

I start to take the yelling seriously and at that moment she shifts something in the air and says out of nowhere

“Vicki, come over here and taste this for me and tell me if I added enough sugar.”

Without even thinking, I step across the threshold, I leave my yelling behind, and step into her kitchen, taste her morsel, tell her it is fabulous, kiss her and then she says

“Now get back on your side and let’s finish this up. “

And I cross back over and we continue where we left off.  She does this thousands of times in my life.  She teaches me about balance, about family, about love and loyalty and forgiveness.  She teaches me about tolerance, acceptance and how to walk away and maintain your dignity.

She sums up life for me like this……

Yelling is what we do – the kitchen is who we are.

I know this.  This is who I am. This is what I am trying to create for my own children.  This threshold of safety.

I realize that none of my children were with me on Thanksgiving.  And today, more than ever, I am truly thankful that  nostalgia took me over and  led me to my past where I resurrected what is most important to me.  Family.

These boots are made for…

“Mom!  I want some cute white boots with glitter on them.”

“Sure, why not.”

“Mom! I have green boots that I am going to turn into white boots and put glitter on them.”

“Sure, why not.”

“Mom! I made white boots with glitter on them.”

“Of course you did.”

“Mom! I am going to wear these boots to school.”

“Of course you are.”

HMMM! Is that white tissue paper on those boots?

 

Most of the parents reading this post wouldn’t have stopped their curious, industrious, creative, determined child from doing exactly that.

Spend nearly 4 hours ripping up little pieces of white tissue paper, gluing said tissue paper on the boots, then distribute equal amounts of pretty colored glitter on said tissue paper.

No comment from mom.

This wonderful child puts on the boots the next morning and marches out the door to school.

No comment from mom as the rain comes down and puddles form.

The amazing resilient and optimistic child returns home with boots that are no longer glittery or white.  They are GREEN.

Mom waits.

“MOM!  Did you know that if you glue white tissue paper on green boots and then cover them with glitter, and then you walk through puddles during recess, that all the white tissue paper gets wet and falls off?”

“Did you know that mom?”

“I did not know that for certain, no.”

“Well, that is what happened.”

No tears, no blame, no fit, no sadness.

“MOM! You know what I am going to do?  I am going to make white boots with glitter and SELL them.”

“Of course you are.”

To my dear, dear, Jesse.  Once again you remind me, that genius resides between our ears at every moment of every day.  The only thing that stops me from tapping into it is my fear that it just won’t work out EXACTLY as I want.

Thank you for reminding me that magic and genius go together.

Humility and Gratitude

Last night I gave a 2 hour presentation to a wonderful group of parents – 120 of them to be exact.

I am always so excited to speak in front of a live audience.  I love everything about it.

Because I know the topic so well I can relax,  poke fun at myself and at some of the things parents say, without being insensitive.  Most of all though, it allows me a chance to connect.

I can feel people when I am in the front of the room.  I can feel the people whose hearts are cracking open and the skeptics that are holding tight to their worn out, tired beliefs.  I can feel the doubt, the possibility and the hope.

I can feel the love each and every one of these parents has for their kids.

Sometimes, most times, the presentations are a hit.  People go crazy for the information and are counting the days before I am back in their community and teaching the highly acclaimed 6 week Parenting On Track program.  But I am not teaching that program any longer.  I am making the shift from live weekly classes to offering a hard hitting, power packed, top of the line multi media experience.

Why?  Because for years folks have been telling me two things.

1.  They keep attending classes, year after year, because they need a refresher.  I understand this.  It’s why I teach.  I need to be reminded of my decision to parent in this very intentional way.  It goes against popular culture so re-committing each year is imperative for me.  This is a way of “being” not just some hippy-dippy parenting program that will be out of style in 20 minutes.  Good Lord, it’s already been around for over 100 years (remember, it’s not mine, it’s Adler’s).  Parent’ tell me, they need a refresher.  If I stop teaching, how will they get a refresher.  Problem solved – bring me home!

2.  Parent’s have been sharing their experience in the class with friends and relatives across the nation and those poor folks have never had access to the program.  Well now they do.

The best part of this program though is that I am with every single person who purchases the Multi-Media Program for a year.

24 hours a day, 7 days a week for 365 days, I am there.

I do this by sitting down at my computer every morning at around 6:30 with a cup of tea or coffee.  I open the forum and I read what parents are saying, what they are asking me and I respond.  I talk to these parents.  Every day.  Without fail.

It is the equivalent of one on one coaching with a 20 year parenting veteran, any time of day on any topic.  The only requirement, buy the program and do the program so that we speak the same language.  Does it get any better than that?  Not for me it doesn’t.

I love, love, LOVE this part of my job. I feel honored and grateful that parents invite me into their lives and that we can work together to create the families they dream of.

Last night, I missed the mark.  The first part of the presentation was spot on.  Same reactions I always see.  Thrilling for me to see light bulbs going off and parents looking at each other and heads nodding and looks of terror.  It’s wonderful when you see people come alive, get excited, even if that excitement is part fear.

But when it came to the end, to wrap things up, the same thing happens that always happens.  Parents get nervous -

“What do you mean I can’t nag, remind, lecture, punish, count, consequence, bribe, save or scream.”

“What are we suppose to do then?”

Good question.  One that deserves an answer.  In the past I would have said, sign up for a class.  Spend 6 weeks with me and transform your family and in the past – 110 of those 120 parents would have done just that.  They could relax.  Help was just a few weeks away.

But last night, I didn’t offer that.  Instead I tried to tell them that transforming their family can’t be done in 2 hours.

I said “I can’t give you a quick fix even though you think that will do the trick.”

That didn’t go over so well, but  I refuse to give parents a band-aid for their bullet wounds.

I suggested, that if they liked what they heard, their option was to do their best and put together a parenting plan on their own, or purchase a program that was developed over the last 20 years and join me in the journey.

T-H-U-D

I won’t say anything else about it.  Just that it felt awful.

The truth is, the program is worth about 10,000 dollars.  Ask any parent who has completed it and they will tell you that you can’t put a price on something that changes your life forever.   Not just their life with their kids, but their life with themselves, their spouses and everyone else in their life.  It is a complete overhaul and it is one hell of a journey.  It is worth every penny so I have NO reason to feel bad for suggesting they buy it – but I do.

So this morning I am feeling defeated and know that I am all caught up in personal prestige which I HATE.  But this is where I am.  Forget the 90 people who came up after and told me how helpful it was.  I fall victim to the folks in the room who look at me like I am a fraud, a charlatan and a sales (wo)man.

Eventually, I will get to the truth of last night, that it was a success, that I did deliver, that the parents have new information that will change the way they parent, but this morning I was still feeling unsettled and discouraged.

So I woke up, came to the computer and instead of going directly to the Forum, my intuition told me to check my friend’s blog.  First thing.  So I did.  And I am crying again just thinking about it.    http://athomenaturally.blogspot.com/

I am so blessed. My wish for the planet, is that everyone feel as loved as I feel at this moment.  Because if everyone felt as loved as I feel right now, there would be a world healing and it would be IMPOSSIBLE to hurt anyone.  When you feel this loved, the only thing to do is love back.

So thank you. Thank you to the parents who took the time to come out last night.  Thank you for giving up 2 hours.  Thank you to all my friends who showed up and shared their stories with me and told me that if I needed testimonials they would stand up and give them.  Thank you to S. for her dedication.  Thank you to the skeptics and the supporters and everyone in between.

Thank you.  To every single person who ever walked through my life and made me the woman I am today.

Have a super – terrific – wonderful – loving day.

Network Marketing?

Many years ago I took a stab at network marketing.  Oh stop.  It’s not that bad.  It’s not like I was dealing drugs.  I actually like the idea of it, I just didn’t do it very well AND I wasn’t passionate about it.

Anyway, I was introduced to this amazing book “Leadership and Self-Deception” written by the Arbinger Institute.

I remember reading the book for the first time and thinking every single person I knew could benefit from it.  I experienced some powerful Ah ha’s the first time I read it.  I’ve read the book 6 times since then.  I know this because I note the date on the inside of the book each time I read it.

I picked it up again last week because I am re-evaluating my idea of leadership.  Not just leadership as it applies to my business or in my role as a mother, but leadership in my life and in particular leading from the center of my heart.  At my age, I know, beyond a reasonable doubt, that leading with my head is a mistake.  My head can’t be trusted for 10 minutes. It will make mischief if it isn’t constantly engaged in some genuinely “good” activity.

But this time, the book wasn’t having the same punch.  I kept at it, but something was missing.  Then I had a conversation with a good friend of mine.  She was sharing a story about  a person we both know who is struggling.  The struggle isn’t important.  What is, is the way she was trying to deal with it.

She was trying to “muscle” her personality into behaving.  Her head decided that it would “proper” for her to behave in certain ways.  She accepted this.  It made sense from a logical, intellectual, mind perspective.  This worked for a few weeks, but inevitably  something would happen in her life and she would forget to “muscle” her personality into behaving and BANG, she was right back at the beginning.

What a frickin drag.  All that work for nothing.  I have known for a long time that you can not muscle your personality into behaving properly.  As soon as you loosen the reins, the damn thing snaps back to it’s old ways.

Leadership and Self-Deception  is about many thing.  This time it’s about redefining leadership and allowing space for a change of heart to occur naturally.  It is about finding the courage to look in the mirror, own up to my faulty personalty quirks and mis-guided perceptions and focus on a change of heart by getting to the truth of who I am.

Vicki, Vicki, What do you see?

It’s about leading myself to the truth.

Leading myself to the mirror.

Now that is leadership at it’s finest.

This old favorite is an old favorite for a reason.  It is providing me with new insights about myself, that 5 years ago, I was still to immature to accept or deal with.  Today, I find that I am strong enough or tired enough or realistic enough to look them over, turn them inside out and instead of wanting to run away from myself, I am finding a kind of comfort and reassurance from knowing myself just a little bit better.

So here are my questions for the week  – Would I follow me?  Am I open to experiencing a change of heart – even it it rocks my world – that will make me a more effective leader in my own life?  HMMMM.  I’ll let you know what I discover.

Peace Out!

You can’t make this stuff up!

Here is a true story.  No embellishments.

It’s what gets me out of bed in the morning and what helps me sleep at night.

In marketing terms it’s called – ASF – Always Serve First!

That’s what we do at Parenting On Track.

Always have, always will.

“One of my favorite aspects of the Parenting On Track program is the idea of Creating a Parenting Roadmap.

The Roadmap is a tool that shows parent’s how to

1. Identify their Key Values
2. Live those Values day in and day out
3. Teach  children through our ACTIONS, not our mouths that these Key Values  support the family as a whole

One of my Key Values is that everyone in my family  loves and appreciates each other.  If I ever had ANY doubt as to how we were doing, last night answered those doubts.

Rap rap rap- it’s the middle of the night and I hear a rap rap rap on a door- somewhere in the house – I sit up -  rap rap rap and wonder where it is coming from.

Jessie who is 4 whispers, ” Jack, can I come sleep on the floor in your room?”

“What?” is the reply from her groggy, 14 year old brother.  “Hold on.”

Galumpf – my son gets out of bed.

Creeeeek the door opens

“What?” Jack repeats.

“Can I get my pillow and blanket and sleep on your floor?”

I can picture this sleepy little 4 year old, looking up at her big brother, in the middle of the night, waiting, just waiting for his response and I am waiting with her.  There is a moment of silence…

“Yeah- come on…”

Tat-tat-tat-tat she walks into her room gathers her belongings and tat-tat-tat-tat walks back into his room.

No other sound, so I settle back to sleep.

When I woke up in the morning and walked past my son’s room (a room that  smells of 14 year old boys), there was my baby, plastered on the hard wooden floor- pillow and blanket near by, contentment on her face.  She knows that she is loved, by perhaps the most important person in her life right now – her big, strong, handsome brother.

Does it get any better then this?  Maybe not today – but this is what I know – this is not an odd occurrence between my 4 children.  This happens on a regular basis.  The Roadmap helped me identify what was important to me, taught me how to put that Value into Action on a daily basis and allowed my children to accept it as their own.

So I guess, really, it DOESN’T get any better than this.”

When I reflect back on my career as a Professional Parent Educator, I am reminded, again and again, that it is the small investments we make in ourselves, our families and our communities that ultimately, changes the world.  These 4 kids will change the world.  This I Know!

Balance

This is a tribute to Zoe.  My amazing 17 year old daughter, senior in HS, knee deep in college “stuff” who thinks she is stressed.

Oh my darling – stress has no place in your life at this moment.  This is your time to ride that wild roller-coaster and scream at the top of your lungs, head thrown back arms held high, catching the rush of air as it pushes past you and up, up, up into the sky.

Balance is your natural state.  It is ever present.  True it may be buried beneath the distractions of life, but it is there none-the-less.

Watch that you do not get attached to this idea of stress or of being out of balance, lest you end up paying someone – like your mother – to remind you that balance is your birth right.

Listen to your heart – slow the tempo – pick up the cadence….. there it is….quiet….calling you….come home Zoe.  Balance is here, waiting, so close that you just might pick it up with the next breath.

Life moves.  Balance lives within the movement.  It is not “found” in the self imposed quiet moments, but experienced fully in the chaos of a life well lived.

Stress is a trick.  Do not believe what others say.  When you hear the word, when you feel it show up uninvited in a conversation, walk away from it.  Do not give stress your attention.  It doesn’t deserve it.  It has already devoured too many lives.

Balance is life in action.  Up and down, over and around, ever present.  No need to look for it, work for it.  A simple yes will restore it immediately.  It is a state of mind, a way of being, not a class you take, a task you master.

Your are strong and supple and focused and mercurial.  Balance is yours for the taking.  Walk the tightrope without a net.  You have angels above and below and around you.  No falling far for a girl like you.

My sweet, sweet Zoe – if I could pour what I know down through your crown chakra so that it oooozzzzzeeeeedddd into your every nook and cranny, filling you with light and wisdom, I might.  I just might be tempted to pour myself into you – but I know better.  I know the joy of filling yourself up with light.

My job is to wait.  To stay in balance during your time of discovery.  To remember that stress will try and insert itself into my life through your life.  You are a reminder to me, to so many others, that there are perfect moments in life and each of these perfect moments holds balance at it’s center and each of these perfect moments is found  now, and now, and now…..

And there it is, what I know.  The light that leads me deeper into myself, towards my best self – where I can wait and listen and smile from the inside out because I know….THIS I KNOW, and so do you…you just don’t know you know.

My darling Zoe…I love you beyond words.

The Other Side of Life

I want to apologize first, to all of you amazing people out there who will be completely and utterly mortified by the link with an article that had me peeing my pants this morning.

Before you read it, let me just say that  I have had a rough day.  I have had a rough few days.  Nothing serious, just that bone grinding, can’t do this, I quit, gotta keep moving kind of few days.  Maybe it’s my age – I don’t know, but I needed a little comic relief.  I needed something so out-there that it literally re-booted my brain.

My Marketing Director who will remain anonymous sent this my way and it is exactly what I needed.

I don’t drink vodka gimlets, but tonight, after the Balancing Work/Family Tele Class, I just might make myself a pitcher of them.

So for all you raunchy women out there, enjoy.

And for those of you who are truly mortified, – either don’t click the link -  or -  once again, I ask your forgiveness AND I ask that you consider that what makes me so unique, so human, is my ability to be…. well, just to be.

And this is who I BE today.

Big Love

www.newyorker.com/humor/2009/09/14/090914sh_shouts_frazier

It has been approximately 20 minutes since I started this post.  Interesting that as soon as I “wrote” that I was having a rough spell, I received a phone call, 2 emails and a text from people sending me lover, or sharing  a success tory or asking if they could spend a little time with me cause they were feeling lbue and all of a sudden, I have a whole new lease on life.  Oh and did I mention that a few other folks have sent me the same post.  How do people know I would find this funny?
God, life is GOOD.  I mean so GOOD.  I am so grateful. Who could ask for anything else.  I am offically rebooted and back to PERFECT!  Thank you universe.

Pirate Looks At 40

It is 11:07.  I am busy sorting through my work.

I listen to itunes when I need to be creative.  I LOVE music.

I use to sing in a band.  Well, I sang in a few bands.  I loved it. I had a chance to sing some amazing songs.  This one hits the mark

Pirate Looks At 40 – an original Jimmy Buffett.  I am listening to Jack Johnson.  Beautiful.

I am sobbing.  I mean sobbing.

Those first few notes that transport me back to a California beach with the ocean spraying my face with salt water, the sun – warm, bright – the breeze full of salt air that carries the smell and the taste of the ocean – the still silent place I find in myself and share with the ocean.

I am transported to a time on stage, singing this song as if I was making love to the song, the words, the music to the place Jimmy was taking us – if we let him.

And I am transported, into myself, where, for the first time, I have allowed myself to miss my 3 babies.  The 3 amazing young adults who are a bit like pirates themselves.  Out, in the world, staking their claim, making their music, living their own private adventures.  I am with them, I am the wind in their hair and the breeze at their back, the sun on their smiling faces, the fire they sit beside with their friends, on a beach somewhere in Chile.

I am their mother, holding the space in my heart for their return.  Tucked away so that I don’t clutch at them, grab at them through the phone lines when they call.

I hold my own adventure and remember the joy, the unadulterated joy Ifelt in LIVING my life.  The beaches, the mountains the car rides up and down the coast from Seattle to LA.

I am transported to holding wee little things in my arms and breathing in their very breath – having it feed me – physically, emotionally, spiritually.  Binding our breath together our lives together.

And then, suddenly, the final notes are here.  It is quiet and it is too much for me right now, so I hit play – again and again and again.

I am alone with these emotionals.  All of them fighting for space.  But not fighting so hard that I can’t jump from one to the other.  There is room for all of them.

I let the tears fall, I let my longing overtake my body.  I let my lungs gulp in the air.  I am so deeply blessed.  To have these babies in my life.  These miracles who nourish me in ways I can not even describe.  But Jimmy, he got it.  Somewhere inside this song, is my place to sit….

Taylor Swift greats me and my body moves to her bouncy beat and as quick as that, I am back in the moment – relishing the thought of my next conversation.

Back to work.

Awareness, Awareness, Awareness

Awareness

“Wake Up” – “Get Off It” – “I’m an Ass – Your an Ass.  Isn’t it wonderful!” – Anthony DeMello

“Trying to fix your life from the outside is like trying to rearrange the deck chairs on the titanic.  The boat is still going down.” – Marianne Williamson

“What is life?  It is the flash of a firelfy in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime.  It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.”  Crowfoot

“See with their eyes, hear with their ears, feel with their heart.”  Adler

My spiritual practice began as I made my entrance from heaven to earth.  I was baptized Catholic, influenced by a grandmother who spent time with Native Americans as a child and another grandmother who had her roots in Cajun voodoo (okay, maybe it wasn’t voodoo, but that’s the only word I can think of right now).  The women who introduced me to the spiritual path were more influential then anything they ever shared about doctrine, ritual and tradition.

What they did, was open up the possibility for me to explore spirituality from the inside out.

I have never felt alone.  Oh, I have been lonely, but I have never felt alone.  Even when I fight with God and cast him/her/it/them/they out, I am not alone.  God doesn’t quit.  I do -  but God doesn’t.

I remember the first time I picked up A Course In Miracles.  The book had just been released.  It was on a friend of a friend of a friends coffee table.  The rest of the place was shabby, but the book, well the book sang to me and I sang right back.  We are still singing to each other.

A friend called me years later – “Hey, turn your TV on.  There is a woman on Oprah and she is DOING you.”  The arrival of Marianne Williams into my life was like meeting myself.  We spent hours together.  I had that whinny, smart, New York, Jewish, funny, sensitive, compassionate voice with me at all times.

I listened so much that Zoe and Hannah could recite  prayers, quotes, vignettes of her stuff – in her voice.  I loved driving from Ludlow to Rutland and back again.  Sometimes 4 times a day.  My spiritual practice was at an all time high.

I sprinkled Marianne with C.S. Lewis and devoured his work.  I have to say, it was a slow read.  In fact, I learned how to “stay with a phrase”  by reading his work.  You just can’t enjoy Lewis on the run.  He is to be read with thought and attention.  This is where any ability to meditate came from.  Letting the words wash over, around and through me until there are no words, no images just being.  Now THAT is a sensation every human being should experience before they die.

My mom turned me onto Anthony DeMello – Awareness.  Deeper, more serious, more demanding.  I still read DeMello every day.  This is where I am settled at the moment, and have been for several years.  Like all great mystics, it would take me a lifetime of reading his work, meditating on the words, moving towards understanding and finally to “being”.  Awareness, awareness, awareness.

I stumbled onto Eckhart Tolle several years ago  and consider him a companion to DeMello.  DeMello died unexpectedly in 1987.  Eckhart seems to have picked up the torch.

Why am I telling you all this?  Because people ask about my spirituality, where my radical faith comes from, how I can stay present in my life with so much going on and why for the love of God, do I say I am PERFECT every time someone asks how I am.  They ask and I am evasive.  I was taught not to mix my spirituality with my psychology.  So I didn’t.  But “they” are gone and I am older, stronger and smarter.

My faith, my radical faith is what drives my life.  It is what makes me, me.  It is at the center of every decision I make.  Radical Faith allows me to say what needs to be said and walk away.  I don’t carry much of the past with me.  When I do, my body lets me know and I find a quiet moment to put it down, to let it rest, to walk away.  This allows me to stay present to my kids, my husband (who by the way I am gaga over), and the parents that I work with.

If you are curious take 10 minutes today, grab a quote – any quote – it could be a line from your favorite song – and allow yourself the opportunity to “go inside”.  When you do – some small, quiet part of you will spark and when it does – well, you can do whatever you like with it.  Me?  My goal is to start a fire with all the sparks I come in contact with.

Namaste